Still Growing Up

Seems like life has a tendency to guide you to exactly where you need to be or away from where you don’t need to be. There have been so many instances in my life where I just missed being in an accident, or got somewhere just in time to catch this deal. It seems like timing is everything. I used to always wonder “why me?”, when it seemed like all the misfortune in the world was thrown at my door step. As I look back on those moments I see things much more clearly now. Maybe a job I was wanting didn’t work out, but then I ended up getting an even better job. There are so many examples of times where I thought I wanted one thing to only be shown, with time, that I didn’t have my prospects high enough. All of this is to say…I’m experiencing a strange time in my life. Perhaps it’s growing pains. I’m not the way I was, but not sure what I’m supposed to be. Not sure if that makes sense to anyone, not sure if it even makes sense to me. My perspectives and views on certain things are changing. My sensibility and flexibility are starting to wane. I don’t want to bend or move to accommodate what other people want or think I should want. I just want to be me…whatever that means for the moment.

5 thoughts on “Still Growing Up”

  1. I think sometimes we mentally shed and emerge a slightly better version of ourselves. Your history shows you’ll be directed in the right direction. Spend some time with yourself thinking about what might be next. I’m confident you will know.

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  2. I know it may be painful to embrace these times of struggle, but this is how we grow. I am saying this from a place of deep struggle and frustration I am going through right now. It is pushing me in ways I could never imagine. I have seen how some disappointments lead to new beginnings. I’m even starting to see it in the adult lives of my children. So I hear you. It’s hard. Keep struggling. Ask for support. Rant in safe places. Find the people who cheer you on and fill up your tank! We are all with you.

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  3. I know exactly what you mean. I liked your line, “I don’t want to bend or move to accommodate what other people want or think I should want.” The older I get, the more I feel that way. Just keep being you, whoever that is.

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